Strange Days

9:55am
I'm in my grandfather's hospital bedroom watching him wheez and cough. He's in a foul mood because my grandmother didn't come visit him the day before (she had a migraine the entire day). He coughs up what looks to be phlegm but not the off-white/yellow kind. It's grayish-black and soot-like. A live "say NO to smoking" commercial right before my eyes. I walk out into the hall not a little disgusted.

10:35am
Back in the room, I take a quick survey. He now has more flowers than the day before. A variety of carnations, daisies, and roses. The room looks a little less like, well, a hospital room. I wish I could paint the walls yellow or blue. I catch him staring at something in front of him on the wall. I notice it's a clock. In front of each bed is a clock (the room has 2 beds). I find this a little unthoughtful because my grandfather is dying and it's almost like he's watching the remainder of his life tick by. Just as I was pondering this the room's phone rang. I picked it up expecting a family member calling to check up on my grandfather. What I got instead was a telemarketer asking if we were interested in their satellite tv services. A little bit inappropriate, all things considered. Where do these people get their numbers from?

11:00am
On highway 81 headed back to Toronto. Me and my dad are having a heartfelt father to son conversation. Ok, I'm lying. If anyone knows me and my dad. We don't talk unless it's absolutely necessary. My dad is extremely introverted and doesn't talk much with the rest of my family. Actually, my entire family doesn't talk to each other unless it's necessary. Yes we're dysfunctional, aren't most families? Which reminds me, I really have to get around to reading Douglas Coupland's "All Families are Psychotic".

7:10pm
The ride was 8 hours long and I think he said 3 things to me the entire time. "Are you hungry? We can stop and get McDonalds if you are", "We should get gas", and my favourite, "Take the next exit, I've got to pee." I drove the entire time by myself virtually in silence. My dad tends to get lost easily so I dared not risk letting him drive us to Newfoundland. On our way down to Allentown, PA my dad nearly drove us to New York City. Which is about 2 hrs east of where we were suppose to be. I wasn't in the mood for a tour of the east coast this time.

Besides the numerous carcasses of roadkill I saw (each and every one of them reminding me of Tom Green humping a dead moose), the only other interesting thing I saw was a car driving without one of it's tires. It was literally driving on one rim without the rubber. I was doing 120 km/hr and he must have been doing around 90. I passed him as quick as I could knowing full well that he might crash that car any minute. I looked over as I passed him and noticed a middle-aged man. He looked completely oblivious to the loud grinding of the metal rim on asphalt. I decided I would be oblivious to it as well and I smiled at him. I wonder how far he got on that one bad wheel.

11:37pm
We arrived home safely and after a nice meal and a shower I lounged the remainder of the night. I also found out my cousin will be moving into my house for a month or two while he finds a new apartment in Toronto. He started moving some of his stuff into our spare bedroom this weekend but won't be staying here til next week. As I perused through his box of VHS tapes in hopes of finding a movie I haven't seen, I come across a few unmarked tapes. Finding unmarked tapes is like finding gold. People rarely mark pornography. No one wants to admit to owning a tape that's marked "Lord of the Cock Rings" or "Missionary Impossible". I put in the first one. Turns out it's just a few music videos. Fools gold. I put in the second one and hit the jackpot. Porn!! About 5 minutes into the movie my VCR shuts off. I press play. No dice. I press forward, rewind, and eject. Nothing works. Looks like I've got a jammed tape. I consider asking my dad to get his toolbox but I think better of it. I fiddled around with it for another 10 minutes before I finally gave up. I pull the plug on the VCR and hope it will miraculously work tomorrow morning. It figures that the day I find free porn the VCR breaks. Life is so unkind. I think that's a sign for me to call it a day. I suppose I should go cry myself to sleep now. Goodnight.